whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
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