I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
