Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
