If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
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