Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
