Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
