after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
