Dual....:-)
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
