WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize