I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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