True but thats because hes a fetus.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
