You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
