We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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