if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Randomize