It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
