He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
