guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
