Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
