Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
