I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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