TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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