From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
