I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
