i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
