I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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