All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
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