yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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