I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
