I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
it's like iHOP with fire
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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