I'm really into asian looking animals
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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