this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize