Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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