wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
