I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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