Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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