dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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