I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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