They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
