Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
