We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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