we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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