best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Randomize
