somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Randomize
