hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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