woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
