Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Randomize
