im holly from the hills drunk
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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