is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
