The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
FUCK WHALES
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