just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
