pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
