Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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