i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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