Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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