We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
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