You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
