He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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