It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
